In the past week, we’ve seen Sheila Ford Hamp take over the title of Principal Owner and Chairperson of the Detroit Lions from her 94-year-old mother Martha Firestone Ford, while Troy Weaver took the vacant position of General Manager of the Detroit Pistons. Combine that with the recent return of Stevie Y to Hockeytown (can you believe it’s barely been a year since he was named GM?) and a group of head coaches who are all in their first five years on the job, and that adds up to a lot of new and unproven regimes in Detroit sports.

Which begs the question: Which regime inspires the most confidence that they can lead their team out of the worst era in the history of the city? To answer this question, let’s play a little game called rank the regime.

First, a disclaimer: This is going to be ugly. It is entirely possible that none of these front office combinations are the ones that will be able to lead their respective teams out of the gutter. But let’s talk it out, look for silver linings, and try to uncover some hidden talents that might inspire some hope that better days are ahead.

For this exercise, “regime” consists of the primary owner, general manager (or the person/people most directly responsible for personnel decisions), and the head coach. We’ll start by recapping the cast of characters in each organization. Rankings will follow. Don’t you dare skip ahead and miss out on the context.

Detroit Lions

Principal Owner/Chairperson: Sheila Ford Hamp

The “sell the team” buzzards were swirling this week when news broke that Firestone Ford was stepping down and that her daughter Sheila would be taking over as the face of Detroit Lions ownership. But the news was only in the timing, not the fact that Hamp was named successor.

Hamp was being groomed for this role and had been actively involved in many of the recent team decisions. Perhaps tops among those was the decision to retain Bob Quinn and Matt Patricia after an ugly 2019 campaign. Hamp was one of the major voices in setting the now-infamous “playoff contention” mandate for the duo in 2020. It is unlikely things feel tangibly different after this “ownership change” since it’s obvious that a 94-year-old wasn’t the only one pulling the strings the past six years.

In her new role, Hamp says she wants to put her own stamp on things and will be “a little more hands-on” than her mother. But fair or not, she now inherits the keys to an organization with a massive stigma that is linked to her family name. She’s not starting with a clean slate in the eyes of most fans, but rather 60 years of historical ineptitude since the Lions/Ford marriage began in 1961.

General Manager: Bob Quinn

Quinn is entering year five in Detroit and purely based on results the organization is trending in the wrong direction. 9-7 (playoffs), 9-7, 6-10, 3-12-1 are the final records so far, and while every season tells its own story, it’s hard to argue that Quinn’s tenure has been anything but a disappointment.

His free-agent/trade acquisitions have been a mixed bag. Hits include Marvin Jones, T.J. Lang, and the 2018 version of Snacks Harrison. Among the worst misses are Jesse James, Rick Wagner, and the 2019 version of Snacks Harrison (thanks for nothing, big fella). A very promising 2020 free agency haul could eventually tip the scales in Quinn’s favor here.

Quinn’s performance in the NFL Draft might be even more erratic. He struck gold in the third round in 2017 by landing Kenny Golladay with pick No. 96, while 2018 first-rounder Frank Ragnow is quickly turning into one of the top centers in the game. Meanwhile, the two players he selected before Golladay in 2017 were Jarrad Davis and Teez Tabor (remember him?). Yuck.

I’ll throw an ice bucket on the praise Quinn is getting over what appears to be a nice 2020 NFL Draft performance. You know what you can do with all those B+ report cards? If you’re new around here you should know I am the leader of the “no instant draft grades” mafia, because grading future performance is pointless. On top of that, when you head into a draft with the fourth-best allotment of draft resources, you should be expected to do well. That’s the benefit of all that losing on the field and trading away players for future assets. No bonus points yet for the 2020 haul. Down the road? We’ll talk.

Head Coach: Matt Patricia

The only GM/HC combo in Detroit that likely has its futures directly tied. They appear to be a package deal at this point – it’s both or none. Patricia and Quinn’s quest to make the Lions into the Patriots 2.0 ain’t going so hot, and the worst of it has come in the last two years on the watch of Patricia. Billed as a defensive guru, his team narrowly avoided setting a franchise record for most yards allowed in a single season in 2019.

So, on the field…things haven’t been great. Off the field though….also not great. Patricia has a habit of rubbing people the wrong way with his brashness and potty-mouth, from reporters (slouchgate, anyone?) to former players (Quandre Diggs, Darius Slay). Fortunately for Patricia, there are also some that seem to take to his style of coaching (Mike Daniels, Danny Amendola), so the jury is still out on whether or not the results will improve with a group more responsive to his personality.

But time’s a-tickin’.

Detroit Pistons

Principal Owner: Tom Gores

Despite having the least recognizable name among the major Detroit owners (hard to top Ford and Ilitch), Tom Gores has been at the helm of the Pistons for nearly a decade now. He may not be a household name yet, considering his Pistons have been a pillar of mediocrity, winning between 29 and 44 games each season (excluding lockout-shortened 2011-12) since Gores acquired the franchise in 2011. The bottom fell out completely on the 2019-20 season, forcing Gores to accept a rebuilding scenario, something he had been reluctant to do in prior years.

Ultimately an owner from a business background in a salary capped sport is best suited to hiring the best people to run his team and getting the hell out of the way. Gores has a sketchy track record on both counts. His decision to give Stan Van Gundy the role of Head Coach and President of Basketball Operations in 2014 proved a major misstep, as trying to balance both roles ultimately hampered Van Gundy’s performance on both. Meanwhile, Gores let his personal relationship with Pistons “star” (don’t get me started) Andre Drummond get in the way of potential deals that would have sent the most overrated player in the NBA (I’m getting started) out of town years instead of just months ago.

Look at those two sharing a very smooth post-game greeting. Just two BFFs holding each other’s deltoids. Wait, everyone doesn’t do that?

Owners overriding the judgment of the front office executives they hire is a recipe for disaster. Has Gores learned from his past mistakes? This quote would suggest otherwise. From The Athletic:

“If there are big decisions to be made, we’ll all get together…we’re all team players. Whatever I need to do, I’m going to do to help this team, even if it’s not my normal role.“

Feel free to stick to your “normal role”, Mr. Gores. Open up that wallet and pay smart people to make smart basketball decisions.

General Manager: Troy Weaver | Senior Advisor: Ed Stefanski

It’s unclear how the division of power will shake out after the recent hiring of Weaver, a guy who has spent the last 12 years as an Assistant GM with Oklahoma City. Stefanski has been the Senior Advisor to Tom Gores since 2018 and de-facto GM without the formal title. Given the fact that Stefanski said his first order of business would be to hire a GM and wanted to interview Weaver for the position in 2018 but was denied permission, it seems like he had been simply holding down the fort until the day Weaver would be available.

Speaking of holding down the fort, Stefanski has actually done a nice job cleaning up the books and acquiring some good young role players with very limited resources at his disposal. He was brought into a messy situation left by the Van Gundy regime, with bloated contracts around every corner and few draft assets (LAC owned the rights to Detroit’s 12th overall pick in 2018) to build a foundation for the future. That the Detroit job was even appealing to Weaver in the first place is a testament to the flexibility Stefanski has created for this organization the past two years.

Weaver is known for being an “eye for talent” guy, which is critical given the fact that – pending the results of the upcoming draft lottery – the Pistons could be looking at their highest draft slot since 2003 (Darko Milicic [2]). Detroit has the fifth-best odds to land the top pick in a class that is considered wide open. The two times Weaver found himself with a top-5 pick in his time with the Thunder he and GM Sam Presti parlayed them into two guys you may have heard of – Russell Westbrook and James Harden. It’s unclear whether a Westbrook or Harden-caliber player is available in the 2020 draft, but if there is Weaver should be able to spot him.

Head Coach: Dwane Casey

Casey’s next season will be his third in Detroit. He infamously won NBA Coach of the Year in 2017-18 after being fired by the Toronto Raptors. The Raptors went on to win the title the following season, so perhaps they were on to something. Although Casey’s Pistons were 3-0 against Toronto that season and were one regular-season win away from a first-round playoff matchup with the Raptors. Clearly, the Pistons would have swept that hypothetical series, thus changing the course of history. AMIRITE?

At any rate, Casey hasn’t given me many reasons to doubt that he can be the coach to turn this franchise around. Like Stefanski, he was tasked with taking a sloppily constructed roster with limited upside and trying to compete for the playoffs. Now that it’s officially rebuilding time, we can test Casey’s player development reputation that he earned in the early days of his Toronto tenure, taking the franchise to heights it had never before reached.

Casey is an old soul with new school sensibilities. He preaches the timeless sports ideals of competing, fundamentals, and family, while also being savvy enough to understand how the game is evolving and embracing new analytical basketball principals. We should learn a lot more about Casey going forward than we have thus far.

Detroit Red Wings

President and CEO: Chris Ilitch

It’s been three years since the passing of Mike Ilitch, at which point his son Chris took over as controlling owner of the Detroit Red Wings. In fact, Mr. I passed away two months before the Wings’ historic 25-year playoff streak was snapped, while Chris has been left to pick up the pieces and wonder how he could ever raise the Wings back up to those impossible standards.

That being said, the younger Ilitch’s personality seems much more suited for rebuilding an organization than his flashier father. Take this excerpt from a 2017 Freep piece about Chris’ succession:

“Christopher Ilitch has earned a reputation as a careful, deliberative business leader who takes a data-driven, analytical approach to solving problems and who won’t be rushed in his decision making.”

In terms of public perception, Chris Ilitch may be getting a raw deal from fans who claim he doesn’t care as much about winning as his father. The incentive is there to put a winning product on the ice given the fact that the Ilitch family name is synonymous with Detroit, and there are countless Ilitch-owned properties financially tied to the success of the Tigers and Red Wings. I seriously doubt this will be a disinterested/absentee owner situation.

General Manager: Steve Yzerman

Yzerman’s return to Detroit in 2019 was a geek out moment for Red Wings fans. The captain returned home following a crazy good stint at the helm of the Tampa Bay Lightning, where they did pretty much everything but win the Stanley Cup.

How’s this for a fun fact?: Yzerman was the captain of the 1995-96 Red Wings, the team that set the NHL record with 62 regular-season wins. The 2018-19 Lightning went on to tie that record. Yzerman can claim to be the on-ice catalyst and the off-ice architect for the two most prolific regular-season teams in NHL history. Baller.

But wait, I’ve still got some ice left in my bucket after cooling off Bob Quinn’s 2020 draft hype. For those who think that Yzerman will just be able to magically replicate his Tampa success, this cube’s for you.

No two rebuilds are alike, as Yzerman can attest. The situation in Detroit is far direr than the one he inherited in Tampa. That team included already established stars Martin St. Louis and Vincent Lecavalier, and more importantly, next-generation stars Steven Stamkos and Victor Hedman were already on the ascent. In hindsight, how that was even considered a rebuild in the first place is insulting. Stamkos flirted with 50 goals before he could legally drink for crying out loud. Rebuild, shmre-build.

I’m cautiously optimistic that Yzerman can be our savior once again. But it’s not a given, especially following the latest draft lottery screwjob – the fourth consecutive lottery that saw Detroit slide back in relation to their final position in the standings. Hey, if things don’t work out, at least we got some eye candy for all those “we’ll get ’em next year” pressers. Cuz that is one handsome fella.

The fact that this guy is 20 years older than me is negatively impacting my self-esteem.

Head Coach: Jeff Blashill

Blashill has been the HC in Detroit for five years, and I still don’t know if he’s a good coach. You don’t know either. Nor do I think Yzerman knows yet, which is why he decided to retain Blashill following a season in which the Red Wings finished deeeeeep in the league basement. Like, 23 points deep. And that was with a ‘Rona shortened bailout.

It was Blashill’s impressive run as HC of the Grand Rapids Griffins that earned him the call-up to the big leagues in 2015, so we know developing young players is in his repertoire. I’m guessing he’ll be replaced whenever it is Ilitch and Yzerman feel it’s time to throw some money at free agents and compete again. Until then, Blashill it is.

Detroit Tigers

Chairman & CEO: Chris Ilitch

See above, but with one major caveat…NO SALARY CAP, BABYYYYYY!

If Chris is anything like his pops, when he feels like the Tigers’ young core is ready to compete, he will expedite the rebuilding process with the power of the almighty dollar. From 2005-2017 the Tigers had a payroll that ranked in the top half of MLB every single year, including eight years in the top-5 (Yanks and Sawks territory).

It’s amazing what you can accomplish by throwing absurd amounts of money around. Besides win a World Series in Detroit, that is.

General Manager: Al Avila

Avila is approaching two decades in the Tigers front office, and nearly five years as the head executive in charge. He’s been around for the lowest of lows (2003, 2019) as well as both World Series appearances (2006, 2013). A lonnnnnnnng and depressing rebuild was waiting for Avila upon previous GM Dave Dombrowski’s “release” in 2015, who tapped the reserves of future assets to acquire stars for Detroit’s title runs. Treating future prospects like chess pieces to acquire established talent is certainly a viable strategy, but the big payoff never came and the plug was eventually pulled.

To his credit, Avila has done a nice job building that pool of high-end prospects back up. Pitchers Casey Mize, Matt Manning, and Tarik Skubal are all top-50 prospects on the verge of their big-league debuts, while Riley Greene and newly minted first-overall pick Spencer Torkelson are the impact bats the Tigers’ pipeline has been missing for years.

Then again, losing 114 games and “earning” the first overall pick – for the second time in three seasons – isn’t exactly the measure of a competent front office executive. When angry fans say things like “I could do a better job than ____” it’s usually a plate of fried bologna. But in this case? Could I be the architect of one of the worst teams in American League history, then peruse the top scouting reports and nail the top pick in the draft? Well, I’m not one to brag, but I’m a strong reader. I think I’d smash that scenario.

What I’m much more interested to see is whether Avila’s recent focus on building an analytics department starts to translate to wins on the field. The Tigers were late to the party when it comes to things like Rapsodo units and Smart Cages equipped with blast-motion sensors. But Avila now believes the Tigers have one of the most technologically advanced systems in baseball, the best behind only the Yankees, Astros and Dodgers.

Manager: Ron Gardenhire

Much like Jeff Blashill, Gardenhire may end up being little more than a transition guy between the rebuilding and competing phases. Gardy has been in the game a long time, and in the AL Central for his entire managerial career. He’s an entirely safe and reasonable option to run this clubhouse the way it’s currently constructed – mostly young unproven kids and low-end journeymen, with a big name/big contract sprinkled in here or there (Cabrera, Zimmerman).

Perhaps telling was the fact that, despite both having contracts that expired after the 2020 season, Avila was given an extension last summer while Gardenhire was not. That’s not to say Gardy can’t earn himself a new deal if the Tigers perform some magic in the upcoming 60-game COVID-shortened season, but Ilitch appears to trust Avila with the future of this organization, while Gardenhire might be little more than a body at this point. Once a perennial AL Manager of the Year candidate, those days are now a decade behind him.

On to the rankings

I’m starting to think the previous 3000 words was just me stalling over the fact that I secretly have no idea how to arrange these these groups. I’m a guy who would much rather be right than give “hot takes” (hence the name), but this could very easily play out the opposite of how I slot them.

Alas, we’ve already come this far. Here goes nothing…

4th: Detroit Lions

Too much baggage. Too much history. This organization has done little to earn my confidence, and even when things look to be turning around, outside forces (injuries, refs, the universe, etc.) will throw a wrench in those plans.

Unless Sheila Ford Hamp can rush the passer…

3rd: Detroit Red Wings

Better days are ahead, but that’s only because they can’t get any worse than what we just witnessed in 2019-20. The Red Wings haven’t had a captain since Henrik Zetterberg in 2018. I say Stevie Y gives it one more go and slaps that C on his suit. He looks like he could still light the lamp.

2nd: Detroit Pistons

Stefanski/Weaver/Casey is probably my favorite front office combination of the four teams, but Gores meddling in personnel matters has proven problematic in the past. There is enough talent (and cap space) here for the Pistons to return to middle-of-the-pack-ish immediately, but will Gores have the patience to let his staff shoot for something greater?

1st: Detroit Tigers

Avila…fine. Gardenhire…sure, why not? This ranking is about two things…prospects and cashola. The young studs are in the system and waiting to be unleashed. All Chris Ilitch has to do is decide when the time is right to return the Tigers to prominence and open up that checkbook. It’s in his DNA, despite all the methodical, patient mumbo jumbo. The Tigers might not be the first team in town back to mediocrity, but they have the highest potential of the bunch.

And with that, I’d like to be the first to congratulate the Lions for winning their first division title since 1993.

Either that or sports as we know them are never coming back, so none of this mattered.

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