I planned on writing about the Detroit Pistons a lot more this season, as I was cautiously optimistic that this team was ready to climb a seed or two in the eastern conference playoff bracket. This despite knowing that any real success was capped by their fraudulent “big 3” of Andre Drummond, Blake Griffin, and Reggie Jackson. I have watched every game, just as I have the past 25 years or so. That’s my end of the bargain. I tune in, make my observations, take some notes, then regret how I could’ve done something much more productive with those two hours of my life.

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The Pistons, currently 11-15, are not holding up their end of our relationship. Despite hitting the ground running this season with a fantastic win at Indiana, a team they would theoretically be jostling with for postseason positioning (going 3-1 against them overall), they have generally stunk up the joint. The Pistons have somehow managed to go 1-7 against the Hornets, Bulls, Wizards, and Hawks, who are all currently non-playoff teams in the eastern conference.

Speaking of the Hornets, the Pistons have now lost nine straight to Charlotte, after dropping three games against the Hornets this season. A thoroughly and utterly below-average team, Charlotte is 9-17 against everyone not named the Detroit Pistons.

I’m a writer, yet this team has given me little to write about. So I haven’t. Plain and simple. At least with the other losing teams in this town, there are other narratives I can spin to keep the content fresh and interesting (I hope). The Lions’ losing culture. Michigan’s struggles against OSU. What can we say about the Detroit Pistons, a team that has a seasonal residence in mediocrity-ville?

Then, I found my opening. The headline I had been waiting for all my life. Andre Drummond was going to miss a game due to a horrific avocado accident. 

Absolute perfection. The softest big man in the NBA was taken out by the softest fruit in the food pyramid (did you know it was a fruit?). With a road date against James Harden and the Houston Rockets on deck, surely the Pistons were dead men walking without their “superstar”, right?

Not so fast.

Anyone who knows me or has read my Pistons season preview should know that I am the biggest Andre Drummond hater around. A friend once told me that his favorite thing to do is watch me watch the Pistons, just to hear how furious this guy makes me. I’ve been saying for years that the eye-popping numbers Drummond produces, particularly on the glass, are largely hollow and don’t actually contribute to team success. While I am extremely confident in my claims, the fact is we haven’t had many opportunities to see the Pistons without Drumond in the lineup, as he has proven to be one of the more durable players in the NBA. He has missed a total of 10 games in the past seven seasons. 

This was a big game for the Pistons, but an even bigger game for me. This was an opportunity for the world, and most importantly Pistons owner Tom Gores, to see what a fraud Drummond is. And boy, did D-Rose and dem boyz make ol’ Jonny look good. The Pistons, heavy underdogs against 17-8 Houston and the most unstoppable player in the NBA, beat the Rockets 115-107. They did so convincingly too, leading by double digits for a good chunk of the second half. They beat the most prolific three-point shooting team and No. 2 overall offense in the NBA at their own game, holding the Rockets below 110 points for just the fifth time this season. 

So what about this game reflects so poorly on Drummond? Besides the fact that he was forced out of action by a damn avocado, of course. I mean, we really don’t need to know anything else, do we? If you are allergic to avocados, get the hell out of my city. Avocados are wonderful and magical, and they contain more potassium than bananas. Drummond’s symptom that forced him to sit was eye inflammation, even though “avocados are high in antioxidants, including lutein and zeaxanthin. These nutrients are very important for eye health and lower your risk of macular degeneration and cataracts.” If nature’s candy has the opposite effect on you, does that make you the devil? It’s worth keeping an “eye” on, at minimum.

But who will pick up the rebounding slack?

There was a point in time earlier this season where Andre Drummond led the NBA in rebounds per game, yet unbelievably the Pistons ranked dead last in team rebounding. They ranked 29th at the time of my 10-game report card. Things have improved slightly in this area since then, but they still rank in the bottom third of the league. Many would think that this is a reflection on Drummond’s teammates not contributing enough in this area. I chalk it more up to rebounding being so overtly Drummond’s role on the team and on a larger scale his identity in the league. No one else needs to expend energy trying to corral rebounds when this is the only area where Drummond consistently gives maximum effort. Ever seen Drummond and a teammate both go for an uncontested rebound? Drummond comes away with 100% of these, as his teammate will back off at the last minute and throw up their hands as if they are being held at gunpoint. If Drummond can’t be relied on to carry the rebounding load, what good is he?

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At any rate, surely the Pistons would be exposed on the glass sans-Drummond against a top-five rebounding Rockets team. But lo and behold, the Pistons out-rebounded Houston 55-46 without the best rebounder on the planet. It’s foolish to put too much stock into a one-game sample in the NBA, but nonetheless, this is a major feather in the cap for the “someone has to get them” mafia, of which I am a card-carrying member. Instead of it being a one-man show on the boards it became a total-team effort, with seven players logging at least 4 rebounds. The starting backcourt of Bruce Brown and Luke Kennard pulled down more rebounds (17) than Drummond’s per game average (16.6). 

Sure, some of this has to do with the fact that Houston, a high-volume offense, barely managed to shoot over 40% from the floor in this game. But despite missing 61 shots (41-102), the Pistons held Houston to only 11 offensive rebounds, which is below their season average (11.4).

Pushing the pace

There are some surprising stats behind this Pistons team that most wouldn’t know unless you are a nerd like me and dig beneath the surface. Did you know the Pistons actually lead the NBA in team 3pt% at 38.8? That’s right, they shoot damn near 40% from three as a team. In the new age of analytical basketball, where threes are widely considered the most valuable shot in the game, the Pistons are the current gold standard. So why isn’t it translating to more wins? I’m glad you asked.

For starters, you would think a team that makes a high percentage of threes would be attempting a lot of threes. That isn’t the case with Detroit, who comes in at 19th in three-point attempts per game. Even though coach Dwane Casey has said from the moment he was hired in 2018 that he wanted to emphasize three-point output, it just hasn’t come to fruition. So I ask you, who is the only player on the team who poses zero threat from distance, despite shooting hundreds of threes in practice in an effort to expand his game? That would be the big man, Andre Drummond. At least he isn’t even attempting them like he tried to last season.

But that’s ok, you don’t need to have five players with identical skillsets on the floor at the same time. Four three-point threats out of five is still dangerous. But here is the more damning evidence that Drummond is secretly handicapping his team: 

Drummond’s lethargic and plodding playstyle forces the team to play at too slow of a pace to maximize their three-point efficiency. The Pistons rank 24th in pace of play, most of which is attributed to the starting unit. Drummond and Blake Griffin have individual pace numbers that are up there with the slowest teams in the NBA. Faster pace = more possessions. More possessions = more attempts. More attempts = more made threes. More made threes = more wins. 

The Pistons are fifth in the NBA in effective FG% and sixth in true shooting %, two of the most important metrics for offensive efficiency. The teams above and around them in these metrics are a who’s who of the league’s elite (Milwaukee, LAL, Miami, Dallas, Houston). The Pistons stick out amongst this lot like a bad avocado.

Blaming Blake

While we’re on this topic, I have to be fair. I am a Blake Griffin guy, but he deserves a good chunk of the blame for the Pistons’ overall struggles as well. Though with Griffin, health is the main reason for his slow and inefficient play, as he looked like a shell of himself before limping off the court against the Rockets. But the numbers don’t lie: the Pistons would be obliterating the field in 3pt% if not for Griffin’s 27.4% anchor (on six attempts per game). Hell, he’s only shooting 36.7% from the field overall, down nearly 10% from last season. Not good for business. An extended absence could be in the cards for Griffin, which might not be the worst thing for the team. A healthy Griffin is a star. A hobbled one has been a detriment thus far.

To put this another way, Blake Griffin (28.3) and Andre Drummond (24.3) are second and third on the team in usage rate, behind only Derrick Rose (29.6). So, two of your three most ball-dominant players are your most inefficient guy (Griffin) and your non-perimeter threat (Drummond). Tack on the fact that Drummond leads the team in turnover % (16.1) and you are seeing far too many possessions end in a Griffin missed three or a Drummond turnover in 2019. 

The old bits

Let’s take a detour from the metrics and just talk about all the things that Andre Drummond has always done, and continues to do, that drive me insane.

As I already touched on, he leads the team in turnover percentage and does so by having some of the worst hands I have ever seen from an NBA big man. It is so easy to dislodge the ball from him in traffic, even from players half his size. But even when he doesn’t get stripped, he might just give the ball away unforced anyway by pretending to be a guard when he has little to no ballhandling skills. Yet they kiss his ass on the broadcast ad nauseum for his great hands and for being a great passer (.83 AST/TO ratio, second-worst on team). All I want for Christmas is an honest announce team. Blaha humbug!

Despite playing nearly identical minutes from a year ago, Drummond’s turnovers per game have sky-rocketed to 3.6 from last season’s 2.2. Whether it is personal delusion, or a lack of honesty from Dwane Casey behind closed doors, why no one has put a stop to “doin’ too much” Andre is maddening. This simply can’t continue to be an issue with a player who is approaching 600 career games played. 

Check this link for some examples of “doin’ too much” Andre in 2019, courtesy of Detroit Bad Boys

Then there is the inconsistent effort. While it has been a bit better overall during the Pistons’ recent 5-2 stretch (minus HOU), it’s still a crap-shoot whether or not you are going to get “engaged Andre” on a nightly basis. For a guy who may soon be testing the free-agent market, you would think he would be more consistently engaged this season, as he is essentially putting together a resume for potential suitors this year. I fell into a trap of thinking Griffin and Derrick Rose, two respected veteran leaders, would be able to keep Drummond more consistently engaged this season, but that doesn’t appear to be the case. 

This one can’t be quantified, but I can’t stand how Drummond responds to adversity by smiling and laughing. When another player gets the better of him, such as Joel Embiid in recent years, or he falls victim to a bad call, Drummond responds by laughing. On the rare (and I mean rare) occasion that Drummond does show fire or aggression, it usually comes in the form of a cheap shot or flagrant foul. Remember this one from the playoffs last season?

I love how he goes straight in to help Giannis up like he didn’t do EXACTLY what he meant to do. Just total bush league. Then he pulled a “next question” routine in the post-game when asked about the foul. He also started sarcastically clapping after getting rejected by Brook Lopez, while down by 20, earlier this season. 

As I’ve said before, I don’t think Drummond is a bad guy, but I just really don’t like how he carries himself. He doesn’t have a traditional Detroit mentality, which may sound cliche, but I believe it is affecting the fan base. Whether people want to admit it or not, I think Drummond fans know, deep down inside, that there is a connection missing between Drummond, the city of Detroit, and Pistons fans. There is something fake about the guy that is difficult to label. 

Finally, there is the myth that because Drummond is such a great rebounder that he is also a good defender. The Pistons are 24th in opponents points in the paint and are one of only eight teams allowing more than 50 points in the paint per game. Every team below them is currently not in the playoff picture. Drummond has been victimized by a laundry list of jobbers this season, such as the legendary Bismack Biyombo. 

Holiday shopping

It’s time for the rumors to stop. The Pistons finally need to pull the plug on Drummond and pull the trigger on the best trade offer they can coax out of a team. I am firmly of the belief that most teams already share most of the sentiments I have preached in this article, which is why Drummond is still in Detroit after eight seasons of 40-ish wins, with nothing tangible to show for it. That being said, Drummond’s name has been linked to the Hornets and Mavericks in recent weeks, so there are potentially still some teams that can be fooled by the empty stats.

I have no idea why Charlotte, a rebuilding team who has owned the Pistons during Drummond’s tenure, would want any part of him. I can understand it from the Dallas perspective, a western conference team that is less familiar with Drummond and whose judgment could be clouded by trying to obtain that one last piece needed for contention (hopefully Mark Cuban isn’t reading this).

There is a misconception that trading Drummond away would be going into tank mode. That may even be why owner Tom Gores has been reluctant to trade Drummond thus far, for fear of falling out of playoff contention. He has made it clear that he does not want the Pistons to go into rebuilding mode. That making the playoffs means something, even if it means getting embarrassed by Milwaukee in four games. 

I agreed with this mentality, once upon a time. But we’ve already seen what Pistons/Bucks in round 1 looks like, and that’s exactly what another 8-seed will get you this year. If anything, I’d rather see a rematch without Drummond. If the Houston game taught us anything, it’s that the Pistons are actually a well-constructed team outside of their star players. The “big 3” just may be what is holding this team back from reaching it’s 2019 potential. 

This is about as hot of a take as you will get from The Warm Take: Trading Andre Drummond just might be addition by subtraction. Avoca-do me a favor, and make it happen.

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